Reflecting on the Week that Was

I hope that for each of us and not just for me, there is a remembering of something that absolutely terrified us when we were young.

There were a few instances for me but the one I was thinking of this morning was being on a trail ride and desperately in love (and to this day) with horses;  but on turning around to head back to the barn the horse taking off home at a flat out gallop, and this 12 year old girl just trying desperately to stay on and being so scared and feeling so out of control; and this overwhelming strangely quiet hysteria.

I realized this week that for months and months; and perhaps for years, most of my time has been trying to hold this dairy together in the state of anticipating that kind of fear, and trying to tamp down the reaction of hysteria.  It has been a bit of a ride.

But this week; for the first time in a long time it was not so.  This week for chunks of time there was logic and support and not this paralyzing fear. Probably being back in the dairy so much, having hired some truly strong young staff? Not sure, but so so grateful.

But to be able to concentrate on making good cheese and not being terrified every minute was so joyful.

I am so grateful and perhaps now that I have tasted the work without the hysteria it can become more a part of my life on a regular basis.  But I wanted to thank each of you for the support in this journey and I wish for each of you peace in this discombobulated time.

fondly, Ruth